This is an Important Message from Pepperdine University.
Malibu and Calabasas classes are canceled and offices closed
on Friday the ninth due to wildfires. We are initiating
shelter-in-place protocols. Relocate to the Tyler campus center
or firestone fieldhouse now.
To confirm that you have received this message, press 1.
It’s seven in the morning, and I roll out of bed
to consult with my suitemates. They are all awake
and packing their toiletries into the backpacks
that we prepared last night as what we believed
was an unnecessary precaution
sent in an email by Pepperdine administration.
I’ve received dozens of these voicemails,
but they have never meant anything
other than a test to ensure
that we can reach you in the event of an emergency.
It’s funny how the words this is an important message
immediately make the listener want to ignore
everything that follows, to assume it’s a drill,
this message has nothing new to offer,
they’ve heard it all before.
This is not a drill.